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YOU KNOW YOU'RE A TOURING CYCLIST WHEN...

You spend more money on your panniers than your suitcases.

Your best shoes have steel  cleats on the bottom.

You can tell what kind of bugs they are by their taste.

You take a perverse pride in your mid-thigh and mid-bicep tan lines, and even more in that funny little circle on the back of your hand

You pull your bike into the motel room and use a bath towel to wipe it off.

You get hit by a taxi in NYC, slide 80 yards, and ride 30 miles to home with a fractured wrist.

The first thing you ask when you regain consciousness is "How's my bike?"

You don't even think twice about stopping along the side of the road to go to the bathroom.

Your entire wardrobe consists of Coolmax, lycra, and spandex.

Your coffee table collapses from the weight of bicycle magazines and catalogs on it.

You think your bike looks good with fenders on it.

You discover that you have forgotten to remove the reflective triangle hanging from your butt an hour after you stopped to eat.

You KNOW what a Presta valve is.

You make decisions about car purchases based on which one more easily accepts a rooftop bicycle rack

Ice cream is one of your basic food groups.

You pull up hard on the steering wheel trying to jump your car over a pot-hole.

"Four cheeseburgers and four large French Fries" is for you.

You yell "On Your Left!" when passing another car.

You wear your sunglasses with rear view mirror attached when driving your car.

You'll ride all day in the numbing cold and soaking rain, and then complain at home if a draft from an open window blows on you.

You're beginning to actually enjoy drinking warm water out of a water bottle

You have a permanent black grease mark across the calf of your right leg.

Touring wisdom...

"Have an attitude of gratitude." - church marquee

"Great success always comes at the risk of enormous failure." - Churchill

"To enjoy the experience to the fullest you must give up your pre-conceived expectations." - Paul the poet in Rainbow, MT

"For every downhill there's an opposite but unequal uphill." - Carol

"It's just another hill." - westbound transam cyclist Todd when we told him of the upcoming 6 mile climb

"These hills (in the west) are just training for what's to come." - Gary

"Kansas is the birthing place of all winds.  From there God distributes them to the four corners of our country." - entry in a guestbook in Kansas by unknown transam rider

"Tailwinds in Kansas are a myth." - all three of us

"Riding cross country is not a race, it's the adventure of a lifetime.  Enjoy it!" - westbound transam rider we met in Oregon